Question: Am I worthy of love and belonging?
How would you answer this question?
Does that depend on whether you are in a loving relationship, being loved by friends and family, or being valued and appreciated for who you are and what you do.
All of these share one characteristic, they are part of your outer world and all it can do is mirror your inner state of being in love back to you.
Whatever you are on the inside is always reflected in your reality, in the people and situations that are part of your journey.
I spent most of my twenties and thirties analysing my disastrous love life. On the inside I suffered with anxiety, shame, low self worth and an ingrained belief that I was a failure (now and then resulting in very mild depression). My reality taught me some very difficult life lessons.
Fed up, lonely, disappointed and at my wits end, I hit rock bottom back in 2012. I needed help, so armed with sheer determination and courage along with a profound realisation that I was creating this reality (blaming others ran its course until this point), I decided to face my shadow self and seek out Avy Joseph as he was recommended to me by my flatmate for improving self worth.
So there we have it, I was introduced to a pioneering form of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy called Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT for short). It took just 6 counselling sessions to change 3 irrational beliefs that I had been carrying around for approx. 15 years +
Some of the insights I now have and will share with you.
- You and I are worthy of love and belonging
- We would prefer not to be negatively judged by others but if we are we can accept ourselves regardless
- There are always going to be girls/guys out there who are prettier/more handsome than you and I
- Be yourself and be authentic. You are who you are.
- We are human beings. Therefore, we are unique individuals with strengths, weaknesses and a constellation of traits and abilities.
Sometimes we need to hit rock bottom before we are motivated to change. It can be slightly scary facing your shadow self and seek help but it’s the most effective and transformational thing you could possibly do to change your reality for the better.
If you want to gain some useful insight by having counselling, then seek out a CBT therapist like myself and take the first step.
You can contact me by phone, email or Skype for a free confidential consultation about your own circumstances.