I want to reach out to the guys out there who are struggling to make sense of how you are feeling and not being able to articulate it for fear of appearing to be “unmanly”.
Feelings, emotions, depression .. Yuk, we don’t talk about that stuff. It’s too girly right?
Sorry to break the stigma, but here’s why you are wrong.
For as long as you are a human being who has a brain, you will have an amygdala which is an almond-shaped set of neurons located in the limbic centre of your brain which will create emotions such as anger, anxiety and disgust.
The amygdala is responsible for the “fight or flight” reactions you have (which come in really handy when you need to flee from a very dangerous situation). We need the amygdala as it’s useful, the message is “Better safe than sorry” but it can be overused.
So here is the paradox:
As long as you are bottling up all these feelings and emotions, it’s likely that you are behaving in a defensive way that’s not particularly helpful. Ie. Drinking too much, self medicating, taking drugs, overeating on junk food, womanising or withdrawing from friends, family and the world in general.
Some questions for you to answer:
Do you honestly believe it’s a good idea to ignore these emotions and feelings?
How’s this working for you so far? Has 2018 been a good year?
What impact is it having on your work, your relationship, friendships and family?
These aren’t the behaviours of a “manly gentleman” so I would conclude that if you want to make a positive change in your life, it’s time to be brave and open up. It’s about saying “actually I am struggling and I would like to address some of these issues as I am not coping as well as i’d like to”.
You are not a failure/unworthy/a loser/an idiot/disgusting/no good/worthless or any other labels you may use against yourself as you feel hopeless and helpless.
These are just some of the unhealthy irrational beliefs that could do with being examined with the help of a professionally trained therapist.
– Psychotherapy is about giving your mind the same attention you would give your body if you wanted to improve your muscle tone and fitness. Let’s just call it a “mind gym”
– It’s about opening up and sharing this stuff you’ve been carrying around and then feeling better for offloading it to someone who really listens and “gets it”. You are not alone in feeling this way.
– It’s about being brave enough to look at these emotions in a helpful and supported manner rather than dismissing them and wondering why they aren’t going away on their own or keep popping back up.
– It’s about feeling safe, supported, understood and having the time to address your negative thoughts so you can finally seeing a positive outcome for your future.
If you want to have a brief chat about your situation, please get in contact with me after all 2019 is a new year and maybe, just maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Please do not suffer in silence – Call or text me on 07967 753460