According to a survey carried out by the Independent a year ago, here are the top 10 things people worry about:
10. I seem to be generally unhappy
9. Paying rent/mortgage
8. Worried about my physique
7. Wrinkles or ageing appearance
6. Job security
5. Financial/credit card debts
4. My diet
3. Low energy levels
2. Worried about my savings/ financial future
1. Getting old in general
So it looks like we all seem to value youth/agility, looking/feeling good along with financial security.
The good news for me right now, is that I can genuinely say I am not worried about any of those things.
I look after my health, my parents taught me the value of money so I try to avoid debt and I have spent a vast amount of money on improving my mind by investing in counselling and completing 3 years counselling training in CBT/REBT.
Hmm… This is all working out rather well…
However, saying that…. Things aren’t black and white and with my 40th birthday approaching soon, I really do have to take into consideration this milestone may trigger off at least 3 of the 10 things listed above!
If my memory serves me correctly, my 30th birthday triggered off the following unhelpful irrational thoughts:
Oh my god how awful, I am single.
I have no boyfriend, no-one loves me
No children to love me when i’m old and lonely
No house of my own as I am still renting and can’t get on the property ladder until I meet my man
Without all these things, I am worthless
In hindsight, this wasn’t helpful! Telling myself that I am worthless!??
10 years later, I would hope I am not only older but also wiser. I now know I am worthy just because I exist and I don’t rate myself based on my achievements.
I may not have a few of the things I had hoped for but my healthy rational mind will support me whatever happens.
Sometimes you got to stop worrying, wondering and doubting. Have faith that things will work out. Maybe not how you planned. But how they were meant to be.
I’m based in West Monkton, Taunton. You can contact me by telephone, email or we can work together by Skype (dianeknight_CBT)